Monday, October 7, 2013

can I change life?

Poetic words come across my brain
I refrain from speaking, I bite my tongue
Knowing full well I will never be this young again
The words never leave the ink stained paper hidden in a notebook
Dear diary, I have feeling that are not reciprocated
I am not hated, but not loved either
Not at least in the ways to fight loneliness
I fight, but it’s not much of struggle
It feels like I need to juggle my priorities but I couldn’t find them
I self medicate with drugs and alcohol
Only to recall my binges through friends the next afternoon when I awake
I quake at the idea of failure but death doesn’t get a second look
The sanity it took to stay has since left but I can’t find my way out
I’m trapped in a maze and I still can’t find the cheese
I wonder if it’s actually there
I wonder if it’s moldy since I’ve been alive 18 years
Cheers to life, may we make it strange
Arrange events that take the hearts of the innocent
We must protect them so they don’t ever learn the pain
I know it sounds insane but when I saw you in the rain I wanted to move
But I couldn’t break out of my shell
I know hell is in my future but I refuse to let it change my actions
Some people just lose
Maybe we all lose in the end
Maybe we live in a world of pretend
Life can be anything that we intend
Just be careful of the messages you send

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