can I change life?

Poetic words come across my brain

I refrain from speaking, I bite my tongue

Knowing full well I will never be this young again

The words never leave the ink stained paper hidden in a notebook

Dear diary, I have feeling that are not reciprocated

I am not hated, but not loved either

Not at least in the ways to fight loneliness

I fight, but it’s not much of struggle

It feels like I need to juggle my priorities but I couldn’t find them

I self medicate with drugs and alcohol

Only to recall my binges through friends the next afternoon when I awake

I quake at the idea of failure but death doesn’t get a second look

The sanity it took to stay has since left but I can’t find my way out

I’m trapped in a maze and I still can’t find the cheese

I wonder if it’s actually there

I wonder if it’s moldy since I’ve been alive 18 years

Cheers to life, may we make it strange

Arrange events that take the hearts of the innocent

We must protect them so they don’t ever learn the pain

I know it sounds insane but when I saw you in the rain I wanted to move

But I couldn’t break out of my shell

I know hell is in my future but I refuse to let it change my actions

Some people just lose

Maybe we all lose in the end

Maybe we live in a world of pretend

Life can be anything that we intend

Just be careful of the messages you send

i guess some explaining is in order

I guess some explaining is order. I am a broke college student, and a lazy one at that.  I can make no promises on content.  The fact that I sometimes remember this blog and forget a lot is strange to begin with.  I don't have a known idea of my future.  This blog is to capture my college experience.  Some posts will be poetry, other will be stories.  Let the fun begin :)