A thousand voices by Cody Myers

Ever since I was a little kid
My grandparents would compliment my imagination
I would go on tangents telling stories on a whim that made no sense
Even now I have no idea what I was talking about
But it didn’t matter, I just said the first words that came out of my mouth
As I grew up I began to notice something… Strange
No matter what I did I never seemed to really live
The first time I performed a poem I was 15
That day I had never felt so alive in my life
And I knew… That meant something
The words I wrote came straight from the heart
From a chorus of a thousand voices telling me exactly what to say
Until that day I didn’t know what really made me tic
That day I learned I was a broken clock who was numb until I was wound up
Every time I went to write was I started to work
I am a stationary being who only moves when I have a movement behind me
I find that my best moments are not my accomplishments on paper
But rather the people my ink on paper has changed
I live to please, that’s what I always tell people
My mind both push me to suicide and pulled me away
Because now adays for every one sad voice in my head
I have a thousand drowning them out
But it’s not always that way
Those rhymes that people say don’t hide the mental bruises that actually occur
Years of unseen mental abuse leads me to question ever but about me
So excuse me if I don’t give a shit when I complement you
Excuse me if I think I could blindly run into a city and get that same complement from a thousand other people! Even if it means getting hit by a few cars in the process
I don’t sleep because there are a thousand voices giving me doubt
I don’t sleep because they tell me the wonderful things I dream of doing
And I fade away to dreams only to live them all with an audience in my head
I may go no where, hell no one may ever read this
But if I can just change one persons bad judgement
Then I’ve done something right

no sense, too tired

I like to write

Laziness wants to fight me

I say bite me or spite me but these words are my freedom

I have broken these chains, my pains are a part of me

so don't start with me on your idea of perfection

although tonight my brain isn't making connections

correction, they just aren't good

the idea that I should quit and call it a day

will people say that the way live is incorrect

I deflect possibility

for tranquility

I'd rather be happy than anything else

myself is who I am to please

I prove things to myself and that's what makes life a breeze 

this poem doesn't make sense

hence the lack of sense

wait that was redundant 

im underfunded because I'm broke and I struggle to write a good joke

but I will tell you sleeping is a piece of cake

which I'm about to do because I have a headache for fuck's sake

The pain of 'What if'

do you ever ask yourself what if?
like what if that girl said yes
so instead of your heart sinking, it beats out of your chest
my mind, runs endless with no rest
completing mental marathons with numb legs
chasing, but never leading
because this moment is fleeting and with hope depleting
only a miracle can stop this wound from bleeding
the wound of what if
you see; reality may suck, but it's the unknown that really stings
the things you can't control
that sunday stroll where the goal became running away
sometimes we have a thousand things to say
other times we're speechless
a lost for words when we're trying to impress
can we address the issue or just continue to hide in secrecy
they say read between the lines but I got a different key
We don't see the same things, and that makes me want to cry
because no matter how hard I try, the words are foreign
because I'm torn and I can't find the first aid kit
I'm tired of this shit and I just want an answer
I swear to god these what ifs are eating me alive like cancer!

Starchild

The past four years have gone so fast
All the while thinking it’ll last
And now we’re at the end
no more playing pretend
no more dodging responsibilities
no more putting the future on hold
because it’s happening
so don’t live life in denial, clinging onto your youthful ignorance
I say embrace the choices you make and age in style
and whatever you do after you leave this place, don’t lose sight of yourself
So often I see people going to a job that they hate when just a few years ago they were perusing they’re dreams
And Maybe they were just pipe dreams, but they lost hope
And when you lose hope life takes a little more away from you than it should
Like it’s saying “you could of done more”
Because we’re young
I Never want to forget what that feels likes
Even if it means buying those glow in the dark stars, writing everything I want out of life on them and putting them all over my bedroom ceiling so when I lay down every night I get to lookup and see my wishes
And the beauty of stars is, when one blows up it can create new ones
A never ending source of childlike wonder fueling our decisions
Our ambitions
Sure it’s dangerous out there and we can get hurt
But what’s living without a few battle scars
So when life knocks you down, you better be jumping right back up
At least that’s what needs to happen
I’m no stranger to depression, no stranger to feeling down
I remember the days I didn’t have friends to lean on
And the only attention I got only seemed to make things worse
Things have gotten better of course, but they’ve left their mark
My little reminder that I can’t be hiding in the dark
because when you live in the dark you have a hard time finding yourself
maybe that’s why I changed so much, I’m using the stars to see. 
So maybe I don’t seem like the same me
Maybe I don’t act the same way I used to
Maybe we were once close and now it feels like a mountain separates us
With change, I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost bits of me
Lost… but not forgotten
I’ll never forget how the past felt
And I can’t change it, I have to play the hand I’m dealt
So I’m going to make the most of it
I’m going to do what makes me happy
And that’s something no one is going to take away from me
because we make our own meanings to life
and even though nothing’s set in stone I want to be one of those old dudes that never lost touch with their inner child.
Who in his heart never lost stopped following his dreams
Making everyone’s day just a little bit better
Because when other people are happy, he’s happy
I don’t know how much time I have
But I know I need to make the time count
If I… If I could just make one person… one person feel better and just help them shine bright like the stars above us, then I know it was worth it all
But hey, I can’t live for other people and I can’t make your decisions
All I can do is wish you the best of luck with everything life throws
And no matter how things go the show must go on even after we’re gone
And this is just a chapter ending, there is so much more to explore
So make the next chapter so big and bold, make it legit
Because you never know who will read it