can I change life?

Poetic words come across my brain

I refrain from speaking, I bite my tongue

Knowing full well I will never be this young again

The words never leave the ink stained paper hidden in a notebook

Dear diary, I have feeling that are not reciprocated

I am not hated, but not loved either

Not at least in the ways to fight loneliness

I fight, but it’s not much of struggle

It feels like I need to juggle my priorities but I couldn’t find them

I self medicate with drugs and alcohol

Only to recall my binges through friends the next afternoon when I awake

I quake at the idea of failure but death doesn’t get a second look

The sanity it took to stay has since left but I can’t find my way out

I’m trapped in a maze and I still can’t find the cheese

I wonder if it’s actually there

I wonder if it’s moldy since I’ve been alive 18 years

Cheers to life, may we make it strange

Arrange events that take the hearts of the innocent

We must protect them so they don’t ever learn the pain

I know it sounds insane but when I saw you in the rain I wanted to move

But I couldn’t break out of my shell

I know hell is in my future but I refuse to let it change my actions

Some people just lose

Maybe we all lose in the end

Maybe we live in a world of pretend

Life can be anything that we intend

Just be careful of the messages you send

A thousand voices by Cody Myers

Ever since I was a little kid
My grandparents would compliment my imagination
I would go on tangents telling stories on a whim that made no sense
Even now I have no idea what I was talking about
But it didn’t matter, I just said the first words that came out of my mouth
As I grew up I began to notice something… Strange
No matter what I did I never seemed to really live
The first time I performed a poem I was 15
That day I had never felt so alive in my life
And I knew… That meant something
The words I wrote came straight from the heart
From a chorus of a thousand voices telling me exactly what to say
Until that day I didn’t know what really made me tic
That day I learned I was a broken clock who was numb until I was wound up
Every time I went to write was I started to work
I am a stationary being who only moves when I have a movement behind me
I find that my best moments are not my accomplishments on paper
But rather the people my ink on paper has changed
I live to please, that’s what I always tell people
My mind both push me to suicide and pulled me away
Because now adays for every one sad voice in my head
I have a thousand drowning them out
But it’s not always that way
Those rhymes that people say don’t hide the mental bruises that actually occur
Years of unseen mental abuse leads me to question ever but about me
So excuse me if I don’t give a shit when I complement you
Excuse me if I think I could blindly run into a city and get that same complement from a thousand other people! Even if it means getting hit by a few cars in the process
I don’t sleep because there are a thousand voices giving me doubt
I don’t sleep because they tell me the wonderful things I dream of doing
And I fade away to dreams only to live them all with an audience in my head
I may go no where, hell no one may ever read this
But if I can just change one persons bad judgement
Then I’ve done something right

Fairy Tales by Cody Myers

We are two independent beings

We have lives that are great

Isn’t that how the story goes?

Prince meets princess by fate

Hook up right away like it was meant to be

Well Atlantis has washed up like Disney channel shows

Fairy tales are meant to stay the way

Because if that how every story went then nobody would have anything to say

 We would have no reason to live

And it would lead to late night Netflix sessions with popcorn drenched in self-loathing

Locked in thought that I could change everything with a change of clothing

No

That is not what my life is meant to be like

Nor is yours

Everyone can be unique

Fuck anyone that thinks you HAVE to be a certain way

That if you wear this and walk this way than you can never find love

They shove that bullshit down our throats, and you know what that’s called?

Bullying, nothing more then the rudimentary struggles of our younger selves coming back to haunt us

We’re all possessed and tainted spirits but no one has the precision for an exorcism

Every stich scar and bruise has a story so if you don’t like stories than you don’t want someone who lived

God’s a bully, but we accept it

I say reject it, if your happiness comes from within or something more real than a fairy tale then for fucks sakes tell him off like your middle school bully at your first high school reunion

we are the class of fuck off

the generation that has the chance to change what we look at as people

beauty isn’t just skin deep, but if it is our lives stop half way if we’re lucky and we walk around treated like a zombie, treated like I was infected

I have lived my life believing that I was not good enough

That if only I had gotten lucky in a genetic lottery

And despite a loving family with good values, those traits are void

So excuse me if I get annoyed when some schmuck whose had everything in life handed tell you you’re not beautiful

Just because you weren’t born the way they wanted

Tell them that’s what fairy tales are for

redundant video postification

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb3uXTyjCD0

okay, so this may seem redundent but I made a video saying I have this blog.  XD I am smart, i know right?

The pain of 'What if'

do you ever ask yourself what if?
like what if that girl said yes
so instead of your heart sinking, it beats out of your chest
my mind, runs endless with no rest
completing mental marathons with numb legs
chasing, but never leading
because this moment is fleeting and with hope depleting
only a miracle can stop this wound from bleeding
the wound of what if
you see; reality may suck, but it's the unknown that really stings
the things you can't control
that sunday stroll where the goal became running away
sometimes we have a thousand things to say
other times we're speechless
a lost for words when we're trying to impress
can we address the issue or just continue to hide in secrecy
they say read between the lines but I got a different key
We don't see the same things, and that makes me want to cry
because no matter how hard I try, the words are foreign
because I'm torn and I can't find the first aid kit
I'm tired of this shit and I just want an answer
I swear to god these what ifs are eating me alive like cancer!

Starchild

The past four years have gone so fast
All the while thinking it’ll last
And now we’re at the end
no more playing pretend
no more dodging responsibilities
no more putting the future on hold
because it’s happening
so don’t live life in denial, clinging onto your youthful ignorance
I say embrace the choices you make and age in style
and whatever you do after you leave this place, don’t lose sight of yourself
So often I see people going to a job that they hate when just a few years ago they were perusing they’re dreams
And Maybe they were just pipe dreams, but they lost hope
And when you lose hope life takes a little more away from you than it should
Like it’s saying “you could of done more”
Because we’re young
I Never want to forget what that feels likes
Even if it means buying those glow in the dark stars, writing everything I want out of life on them and putting them all over my bedroom ceiling so when I lay down every night I get to lookup and see my wishes
And the beauty of stars is, when one blows up it can create new ones
A never ending source of childlike wonder fueling our decisions
Our ambitions
Sure it’s dangerous out there and we can get hurt
But what’s living without a few battle scars
So when life knocks you down, you better be jumping right back up
At least that’s what needs to happen
I’m no stranger to depression, no stranger to feeling down
I remember the days I didn’t have friends to lean on
And the only attention I got only seemed to make things worse
Things have gotten better of course, but they’ve left their mark
My little reminder that I can’t be hiding in the dark
because when you live in the dark you have a hard time finding yourself
maybe that’s why I changed so much, I’m using the stars to see. 
So maybe I don’t seem like the same me
Maybe I don’t act the same way I used to
Maybe we were once close and now it feels like a mountain separates us
With change, I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost bits of me
Lost… but not forgotten
I’ll never forget how the past felt
And I can’t change it, I have to play the hand I’m dealt
So I’m going to make the most of it
I’m going to do what makes me happy
And that’s something no one is going to take away from me
because we make our own meanings to life
and even though nothing’s set in stone I want to be one of those old dudes that never lost touch with their inner child.
Who in his heart never lost stopped following his dreams
Making everyone’s day just a little bit better
Because when other people are happy, he’s happy
I don’t know how much time I have
But I know I need to make the time count
If I… If I could just make one person… one person feel better and just help them shine bright like the stars above us, then I know it was worth it all
But hey, I can’t live for other people and I can’t make your decisions
All I can do is wish you the best of luck with everything life throws
And no matter how things go the show must go on even after we’re gone
And this is just a chapter ending, there is so much more to explore
So make the next chapter so big and bold, make it legit
Because you never know who will read it